The Froggy Hyde
by 0928soubi at docomo.ne.jp
Summary: GakuHai drabble. Crack. Gackt is lonely...A spin on a children's story. :D One-shot, though may make a sequel.


(a/n) A little GakuHai drabble to brighten up your day! :D

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Gackt was lonely. He was so very, very, very lonely. He was on his most recent world tour, and no amount of foreign lovers could fill the lonely void in his heart, or his libido. He found himself constantly, but carefully, sleeping around (as he always did) but now even his sex drive was left untameable. "I am so lonely," he said. "I wish I had someone who could fix this hole in my heart."

He asked his long time friend You what he should do. "Get a pet or something. I don't care."

And so, broken and sexless, he headed to a pet store.

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When he got inside, he found himself unable to find _anything!_ He looked down aisle after aisle, but still, no perfect pet could be found! "Oh, woe is me. Woe is me! I shall never find a pet to help me cope with this distressing problem!"

But then, just as he was about to leave, he had a psychic premonition! He learned that if he stayed there, he would soon find solace in (XD in...) a beautiful, tiny, fairy prince man! Wait a second. What? That can't be right. Gackt HATED tiny people. A beautiful fairy prince man, okay, but a beautiful **tiny** fairy prince man? No. Nooo. Not happening.

He moved on.

At the next store, he had a second premonition. This time, it said that if he remained, an adorable, itty-bitty, flower prince man for him to deflower would appear. But no, picky, _size-ist_ Gackt sprinted from the store! There would be no itty-bitty lovers for him, even if they _were_ adorable and virginal.

Finally, he arrived at the third and final store on the street. Third time's the charm, right? **WRONG.** He would _not stand_ for having a sultry, small, elven lover! And across the city he went.

He searched and searched, but no pet or lover could be found! Just as he was giving up hope, he had not a vision, but heard a tiny voice speaking to him. Now, normally, he would ignore **anything** tiny, magical or no. But there was something special about it. It called him over to a tank, saying, "Pick me, pick me! You won't be sorry, I promise!" He looked all around, searching for twenty minutes before he finally found the source of the voice. "Pick me, pick me! You won't be sorry, I promise!" said a little, warty toad. Normally, he wouldn't spare it a second glance; it was tiny, after all. But again, something gave him hope that he would get his lover if he bought this ugly little frog-toad-lizard-tadpole...thing. (a Froazarpole! XD) "Pick me," it said, "choose me!"

He walked out of the store, froazarpole in hand.

"Oh, you'd better be worth it..." Gackt murmered, climbing into his car gracefully.

"Oh, I am, I am..." He buckled the froazarpole into the seat beside him carefully, before driving away from the store. After about five minutes' silence, the creature spoke to Gackt. "Hey..._heeey_...oi..."

Gackt glared at it, annoyed. "What?"

"...you know what you should do? You, you should kiss me." Had Gackt been taking a drink at that particular moment, he would have spewed it.

_"P-pardon me?!?!!"_

The toad nodded his froggy little lizard tadpole head. "Kiss me. You won't regret this either."

Gackt, in his desperation, considered this. The creature had guaranteed he wouldn't regret anything. He hadn't yet... "Hell. Why not?" He parked in a parking lot, lifting the froazarpole in his hands, and kissed it on its froggy little head.

**SHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!**

The disgusting creature transformed into the beautiful, stunning, amazing, sex and rock god: **HYDE.** And he was nakey. In our dear Gaku's lap.

"Oh. My. Gawd."

You would think Gackt would reject so short a man for his lover; you, however, are wrong. Gakuto has nothing against _short_ people. It's **_tiny _**people he dislikes. Hyde, however, is hung like a horse. Surprised? You shouldn't be. This is a _fairy tale,_ and more importantly, it's a _GACKT _fairytale.

Super Smexy Rock God Hyde leaned forward, giving Gackt the most sensual and arousing kiss he had ever had! And do you know what _Gackt_ turned into?

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...a frog?

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...

...

...

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...a prince?

Of course not! It's **Gackt.**

He turned into the first Hilton Hotel he could find!

And so, his needs were eternally sated, and they happily fucked for ever after, the end.

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(a/n) ...hahaha, I love my brain. Especially because it proceeded to provide lovely thoughts of said hotel scenes...buahaha...but I swore to Cashite-sama that I would write one, ONE fic that didn't have smut... XD As with all my stories, you may ask for a sequel...

Review, ne?


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